I have always considered myself a boyish girl. Not a tomboy per se, but a girl who liked things that mostly attracted boys: camping outside, fighting, fishing, climbing trees and getting dirty. I too have played with dolls and had best friends who were girls, but I have never been able to enter the mysterious and enclosed world of females. It was as if I never felt welcome – or maybe because it never really appealed to me. There was just too much bantering and drama with girls. This meant that I was never among the popular girls in class, and my friends could be counted on only one hand. They were close to me, but very few. I have never been a part of a gang of girls, and I am sad to say that I have always felt left out, despite it being my own fault for not trying harder to get in.
Now, after becoming a mother, I was suddenly invited to play among girls. As if I suddenly became accepted by the mom mafia or some kind of secret society. Women started talking to me, being interested in me, wanting to meet and arrange playdates, wanting to help me out with my kid etc. etc. As if I passed a test of carrying a child. However, I am not sure that I like being a part of this club.
Women are mean – really mean. Especially to each other.
Even after having become mothers, it is still a game of who is the most popular, who is the prettiest and who has the most friends and expensive gadgets and clothes. They always look critically at each other and never hesitate to comment if something does not apply to their point of view. Not to mention – there is always a lot of drama involved. Sadly, mothers now mix their children into the game.
Why is it that women are so insecure that the only way to make them feel better is to make others feel worse? It is a world full of jealousy and competition. Everyone tries to be the best, whether it is in clothes, cooking, working or motherhood. It is unbearable.
I sit here and wonder if it has always been like this, and it saddens me to conclude that it probably has. We probably sat in caves and had the exact same issues with one another as we do now. Maybe some people might say that it provoked us to become better and to make our children be better… However, can’t it be done otherwise?
I know so many mothers who are doubting themselves, wondering whether or not they are good enough, because there are so many people who criticise them. Not only people they are obliged to trust such as nurses, doctors, social workers and the like… But also their friends, families and the mothers they compare themselves with at the social media.
Honestly you guys… Sometimes I wish I was a man!
Many hugs from EL ❤